Red
by ScandalousCastleAnatomy
Summary: "Losing him was blue like I'd never known. Missing him was dark grey all alone. Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody I never met but loving him was red." I don't understand how I, Olivia Pope, became that woman that completely sympathizes with Taylor Swift songs. What the hell happened to me? AU
1. Chapter 1

**I'm editing chapter 3 of the Family Man like crazy so I thought I would upload one of the many miscellaneous first chapters that I have saved on my computer while I'm doing it. I might continue this but who knows. I have a few chapters done already so I might just upload those. Enjoy.**

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A bright smile dons my face as I make my way back down the stairs. The crowd has thinned dramatically since I had gone up a couple of hours ago and many of the others that are left are saying their last goodbyes and searching for their long forgotten coats. As I get to the bottom step I scan the room looking for my ride and realize that he is nowhere to be found. Recognizing my sister across the room I began to make my way to her but when she looks up from the conversation she's having and locks eyes with me, I know that she is drawing a line that I am being dared to cross. I continue on my path to her, ignoring the daggers that she's sending my way and come to a stop directly in front of her. She raises her eyebrows at me, suddenly making me _very_ aware of how close the body behind me is.

"Where's Edison?" I ask calmly.

She rolls her eyes dramatically. _Oh. _The audacity of me. Don't get me wrong, I love my sister but at times like these all of that attitude pisses me off.

"Hello? Are you going to answer?"

She sighs and rolls her eyes purely for affect. She should have been an actress if she wanted to do all of that shit.

"He left, Olivia." She finally answers, staring right at the body that is keeping my back warm.

"What? Why?"

She gives me a dramatic scoff just because she can.

"Because he's finally starting to see all of things I've been warning you about. You're getting _married _Olivia. Don't you think you should be acting like an adult?"

Now it's my turn to raise _my _eyebrows. She turns her attention to the beautiful man standing behind me.

"And Fitz," She pauses, gathering her dumbass, irrelevant thoughts. "I love you. I really do. I love what you guys had together, I would have loved you as a brother-in-law but that's not happening now. Don't be that guy. The_ other guy_. Livi's moved on and you need to, too."

I turn around to gauge Fitz's reaction before turning back to my sister.

"Jordan, no one is cheating, okay. Mind your own business." I retort defensively.

"Emotional cheating is still cheating."

There's a pregnant silence after her statement leaving a second for me and Fitz to think over it.

"I'm not cheating. Period. Let it go." I finally reply.

"We're just friends, JK." Fitz adds. "_Just_ friends."

"Yeah? Well this friendship looks a hell of a lot like cheating." She looks both of us square in the eye before continuing. "So much so that it could be misinterpreted by a certain fiancé."

I ignore her altogether and turn to Fitz.

"The party was great, thank you for inviting us." I say softly.

"It was my pleasure. I'm glad you came." He smiles as he speaks; accepting my apology for my sister's less than party like behavior.

"Of course, wouldn't miss it, but we're going to head out now." I say, stepping into his arms and I can see that he completely understands the reason for my hasty departure.

The hug is brief. Mostly because my sister is standing there but also because contact like this reminds us both of times no engaged woman should be thinking about another man. He kisses the top of my head as we let go and moves over to give my sister a halfhearted hug as well and turns back to me.

"I'll see you later, right?" He asks completely unsure if he will or not.

"Yeah. I'll text you. Promise."

I can practically hear Jordan roll her eyes behind me so I turn and grab her arm, quickly dragging her to the foyer where our jackets are hanging.

She looks at me incredulously as if after the scene she tried to cause would make me want to hang around here all night. Luckily, her husband saw us heading towards the door and met us there with the car keys.

"We're ready to go." I say harshly and my very understanding brother-in-law moves to open the door and escort us to the car where everyone is completely silent.

_That is_ until we pull out of the driveway and my sister turns on the light and turns in her seat to glare at me, which I happily reciprocate.

"What the hell was all that about?!" I shout at her.

This bitch better have a good reason for trying to ruin my life but instead of fighting me back with fire like I expected, her expression softens considerably.

"He _left_, Liv." She replies looking down, instantly aging five years. "And the worst part isn't even the fact that he left."

I'm confused. I thought that's what all this backtalk was about anyway. She reads my expression and then continues.

"Livi, your fiancé left the party that you attended _together_ and you didn't even notice until you needed a ride home."

I look down ashamed, realizing that that was exactly what I'd called Edison when I had gone to look for him.

"Jordi-"

"No, Liv. You need to figure out who the hell you want to be in a relationship with because you can't have both. You can't expect Edison to wait around for you while you're off doing God knows what with Fitz."

"I want to be with Edison!" I shout defensively. "Sorry that Fitz and I are friends. Sorry that Fitz and I are _good_ friends and _sorry_ that we have five _years_ to catch up on."

She rolls her eyes again. I swear that her eyes are going to get stuck up there one day and I'll be the last person to feel sorry for her.

"Yeah? And unless one of you, God forbid, _dies_ you also have the _next_ five years." She states sarcastically.

I sigh.

"Can't you be happy for me? That I found a guy that I love and that Fitz and I are finally in a place in our lives where we can just be friends." I look at her questioningly. "When we broke up I never thought this was possible. Us, being friends. Especially with what it did to his presidency."

Jordan turns back around in her seat to look at the rare Californian rain washing down the windshield.

"I _am_ happy for you, Liv." She says a little bit calmer. "I promise you I _am_ happy. I know what you went through with Fitz and I know that was tough but you can't let your past with him dictate your present with Edison. Notice I said present not future because I honestly don't think there's going to be one."

I make a face at her from the back of the car, and began mulling over her words. She turns around again catching me in the act.

"Liv…"

I can tell by the tone in her voice that this might be the most important thing she says tonight.

"You're really starting to hurt Edison."

And that statement got to me more than anything else she'd said tonight. Throughout all of this I never meant to hurt Edison. I never considered it. Even tonight as I made my way up the stairs with Fitz, I never thought about Edison watching and when we entered his bedroom sharing slightly tipsy laughs, it never even crossed my mind whether the situation was inappropriate or not. Edison was never a factor. I never meant for him to get hurt.

"Really?" I question softly.

"Olivia…if you could have seen his face…" She trails off. "He's really beginning to look at the two of you and how you interact with him."

"Jordi, I don't act any differently with Fitz than I do with Edison."

"I know." She replies. "The problem is that one of them is your ex-boyfriend and the other is your fiancé."

I sigh giving her the benefit of the doubt. I meant that there was nothing more special about the way I interact with Fitz than Edison but she's completely determined to be right.

"What did he say?" I ask. "You know…before he left?"

"He just told me that he was leaving and asked me to bring you home but, Liv, if you had seen his expression…" She stops for a second, gauging my reaction. "He looked absolutely heartbroken."

"He was staring at you and Fitz for a while before he left. It was like he wanted you to notice him. And then Fitz took you upstairs…" Elliott added, corroborating my sister's story.

That's when I knew it was serious. My sister chose a good man in the fact that Elliott wasn't keen on putting his nose where it didn't belong. _That_ was Jordan's job. He's a pretty quiet man as a whole, more content to sit back and observe and he very rarely gives his opinion or his advice. Even to his dear sister-in-law.

"I'll handle it." I say firmly. "Consider it handled."

"You better." Jordan adds as if her two _very_ unnecessary cents are wanted.

I throw her a look.

"I said I would, okay? Drop it."

The car is silent for all of three minutes before Jordan speaks up again.

"Do you love him?" She asks, turning to face me again.

"I wouldn't be marrying him if I didn't." I retort.

"I'm talking about the other one." Elliott says as if he had asked the first question.

Sometimes I forget how linked they are and how much they think alike but the cuteness of their marriage doesn't keep me from getting angry.

"_Excuse me?!"_

"It's just a question." Jordan mumbles, taking up for him.

"It's a ridiculous question, that's what it is! I'm not even going to dignify that with a response. We. Are. Friends."

I see Elliott rolling his eyes in the rear-view mirror.

"Yeah, well…" He stops in the middle of his sentence.

"'Yeah, well' _what,_ Elliott?" I ask.

"You sure as hell don't look at _Abby_ or _Harrison_ or _Huck_ or we can even bring in some of the friends that you haven't seen for the same amount of time as Fitz like _Quinn_ or _Steven," _He pauses and takes a deep breath to keep himself from being too harsh with me. "You don't look at any of those people the way you look at Fitz." He finishes.

"Irrelevant."

"Important." Jordan chimes in.

"I already told you that I'm not answering that asinine question." I fold my arms across my chest and sit back in the seat like a petulant child.

"Livi, you know we're going to support you either way. No matter whom you choose, we're right behind you." Elliott speaks up after a moment of silence.

"But you _do_ need to choose." Jordan adds. "Because I doubt Edison is cool with going 50/50 with Fitz…_especially_ when it comes to you."

Jordan takes my hand and kisses it before placing it back in my lap and turning off the car light, effectively ending our conversation.

I sigh and take in the words of my brother-in-law and sister. I know they care and that I should heed their warnings but I also know that what I have going with Fitz is _way_ too good to give up. I also know that I need to prepare myself for the Edison that I am going to come face to face with at the end of our thirty minute drive.

All of the lights are out when I arrive to my parent's house and I can't help but pray to every deity that Edison is already sleeping. I quietly tiptoe through the house and up to my old bedroom where I can tell that my bedside lamp is on. I stop outside of the door for a moment weighing my options. Edison could have left the light on for me in case I got back late or he could be wide awake looking through new government policies and the only way I would ever know would be by walking through that door.

As I slowly open my door, Edison doesn't even look up from his laptop and I'm suddenly wishing I had just gone to the guest room. Better yet, I'm suddenly wishing _he_ had gone to the guest room. I walk straight to the in-suite bathroom without acknowledging him and slowly get myself ready for bed. The hour that I've spent in the bathroom doesn't put him to sleep, though and I know that, as much as I want to, I can't pretend that tonight never happened. So, I pull up my big girl panties and gingerly sit on the edge of the bed.

"Can we talk?" I speak softly hoping to gauge his mood.

He closes his laptop and places the papers he was reading inside of it and sits it on the nightstand. He looks back up at me with his arms folded and I can see on his face that believing he was angry was an immense understatement.

"I'm really sorry about earlier." I start. "You know I love you."

He nods.

"More or less than you love Fitz?" He asks defiantly.

At this moment I am very glad that I hadn't brought up the glass of water that I fixed in the kitchen because it would be all over this gorgeous duvet with that comment.

"Edison!" I say in surprise. "I-it's-more. Of course I love you more."

With that very blatant lie I can hear Satan adding my name to his guest list in big letters right at the top.

"Then I have to ask…" He stops and assesses me for a moment.

"Ask me anything." I say, scooting farther onto the bed.

"What the hell were you doing upstairs with him?" His eyes are blazing as he speaks. "You know, all alone in his bedroom while there was a party going on downstairs."

I sigh, already knowing that my excuse is incredibly lacking.

"We…we, um-"

"You 'um' what, Olivia?" He questions ferociously.

"We just looked at some pictures and video clips from the trail and talked a little bit."

I can see the incredulity on his face so I continue.

"We haven't seen each other since his first term so we just caught up."

"Caught up? Looked at pictures?" He scoffs and shakes his head as he throws the covers back to get out of bed.

"What?!"

"It just looked like a whole lot more than looking at some damn pictures." He says raising his voice a little.

"You think I had sex with him?!" I shout with as much disbelief as I can muster.

"Yes, Olivia, that's exactly what I think."

"So what, you don't trust me?"

"Not anymore." He says it softly, almost like he doesn't want me to hear.

"Why?" I ask him, calming myself down.

"You kn-" He cuts himself off and then turns to exit the room.

"No!" I yell to him. "Don't bite your tongue. What were you going to say?"

"Look Olivia, I know you're sleeping with him." He says in a resigned voice.

"I'm not."

"Then honestly tell me that you don't want to be."

There's a slight hesitation and I can tell that it's caught him off guard. He's not expecting me to be honest with him.

"I want to be with you. I only want you." I whisper as I get off of the bed and make my way to him. "Why can't you believe me?"

"I can't believe you because every time you're in a room with him you eye fuck him like everyone else just walked in on you guys about to go at it."

"Edison that's not true." I deny vehemently.

"No?" He questions sarcastically.

"You're acting like these past few years have meant nothing, like we aren't getting married in a couple of months."

"Oh, I'm sorry for being upset that my fiancé is all over another man. I should have taken that a little better."

"I'm just telling you to look at us. We're standing here screaming at each other. When have we ever yelled at each other?"

He pauses at that and then walks a little closer to me, staring intently into my eyes.

"Don't lie to me, Olivia." He says reaching up to caress my face. "Don't plan this wedding with me if you are in love with another man. If Fitzgerald Grant were anyone other than a former president I would have already hit him, so don't take advantage of my patience. I deserve better than that."

I lean into his hand.

"I know you deserve better. I know. Look, my entire relationship with Fitz was hot and cold. One day we were good and the next day we hated each other." He looks pacified as I continue to speak. "It was just fighting and really good sex and for some insane reason I thought that that was love. That _he_ was love."

His hand drops from my face and he takes a small step back and I realize what I've said wrong. I can't lie. Sex with Fitz is electric, mind blowing, hot, torrid affairs that always leave reeling and wanting more. I meant to say was and left. As in past tense. But thinking about it gives me this feeling that I shouldn't have standing in Edison's arms. Fitz always gave me what I needed, leaving me more fulfilled and satisfied than I have ever been with any man and then right after the afterglow wore off I would have this intense feeling of need and want, like I hadn't been fucked right in years rather than minutes, craving his body like no other.

I can see that Edison is going over what I've just said in his mind. Analyzing it. I also know that the sex comment I just made is going to come back and bite me in the ass. I've never been vocal about sex with Edison. Vocal about it, during it, before it and I've resigned myself to the fact that he'll never fuck me like Fitz does…did.

He nods his head a couple of times and then steps forward to kiss the top of my head.

"Let's just go to bed, okay?" He says with a sigh.

He rubs his hand down my arm and then walks around to his side of the bed climbs in, turning his back away from me.

I climb into bed as well, settling in to turn away from him when he speaks.

"Let's just forget tonight ever happened." He speaks softly in the dark. "I love you and I just want to get past this."

I keep silent because I know that I could never tell him what I'm really thinking. That after he kissed the top of my head I could do nothing but think about the man that kissed me in that same spot a few hours earlier. That for as long as I live I would never want to forget the night that I've had.

"Okay." I reply just as quietly.

Edison rolls over and falls to sleep quickly but I can't help but stay up and think about every decision I've made to get me to this point. To this place in my life where all I can think of is how in love I am with a man while being engaged to a completely different one. I can't believe this is my life. I just keep asking myself: how did I get here?

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**So, yeah, that's it. I have the 2nd and 3rd chapter already written but I have no idea how long ago I wrote these so I can't even really say for sure where this story was going, however, if there's enough of you that want me to I can try my best to finish it out.**

**Press that awesome little review button and tell me what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

_**2 Weeks Earlier**_

"This is nice…"

Edison smiles and looks away.

"Don't be so suspicious of everything. It ruins the fun."

I roll my eyes.

"So you just decided that we needed to have an extremely expensive dinner in the middle of the week?"

He shakes his head at my inquisitiveness and ignores my question.

"How's work?"

I groan in annoyance. Why is he doing this to me?

"What are you hiding?"

"How is work?"

"It's fine."

He shakes his head and continues to cut his steak, ignoring my foul mood which, I would like to point out, I wouldn't be in if he would tell me why he's suddenly decided to wine and dine me.

"You really want to know, don't you?" He asks with a small grin.

"Yes."

"Don't want me to tell you right now?"

"_Yes_."

"Are you sure you're ready for it?"

"Yes!"

"Will you marry me?"

"Ye-" I stop as soon as I register what he's just said. "Wait…what?"

He chuckles and moves to kneel next to my chair. I can't help but shake my head at the unexpected gesture, almost rejecting it so that I can properly prepare myself. He pulls a small ring box from the inside of his coat and presents it to me. His eyes are piercing in to mine as he gently takes my left hand in his and caresses it softly.

"Olivia Pope, will you marry me?"

My heart has stopped again and I gasp as if I hadn't heard the question the first time.

"Yes." I whisper, nodding my head slowly, still in disbelief. "Oh my gosh, yes."

I finally recover and quickly jump in to his arms as he slides the ring on to my slim finger.

"I can't believe I didn't see this coming." I giggle in to his ear before returning to my seat. "The only reason you got away with this is because there's a new administration so I have a lot going on. Don't try to get anything else past me because you won't get so lucky next time."

He joins me in laughter.

"I know." He agrees, holding his hands up in surrender. "I had to run it by Huck to make sure he didn't think that I was cheating or something with all of my sneaking around."

I shake my head thoughtfully. Of course Huck had known. We move back to our previous positions at the table, beaming at each other. I suddenly find myself excited for a future with the man in front of me.

* * *

The next morning starts with the same bouncy and hopeful mood that the night before left behind. I'm sitting half on the bed and half in Edison's lap as we lounge around, having taken the morning off to get some things together.

"Whose mom do we call first?" Edison mumbles in to the skin on my shoulder as he caresses it with his lips.

"I vote yours since you asked."

He laughs loudly and rolls his eyes while reaching over to grab his phone from the night stand on his side. I watch him scroll through his contacts and press the small green button next to his mother's contact information. I press the button to put the phone on speaker when he moves to bring the phone up to his ear and the dull sound of the ringing phone fills the room. His mom answers as the call as the last ring is petering out.

"Edison Davis, it's nice of you to finally call your mother. If I didn't keep up with the news I would have thought you were dead.

"Hello to you, too, Mother." His voice carrying a playful tone. "I had some news that I thought might make you happy but clearly you don't want to speak to me."

"You're so dramatic." She sighs and I can hear the smile in her voice. "What is it? Are finally coming back home because your father would love to talk to you about that Boehner guy that you've been seen with. He has a lot of questions and you know he won't talk to anyone but you when it comes to politics."

"No, Mom, I'm not coming home…not yet anyway. We''ll probably be there for Christmas." He looks down at me for my approval of the statement, accepting my nod as a cosign. "What I actually wanted to tell you was that I'm getting married."

There is nothing but silence on the other end of the phone. Enough silence to cause Edison to tap his phone to make sure the call hadn't dropped.

"Are you being serious right now, Edison, because if you're joking I need you to tell me before I get excited or I will never forgive you."

"I'm serious, Mom." He smiles down at me as he speaks. "Olivia and I are getting married."

An exuberant shout came from the phone, startling me in to a bout of laughter.

"Is that Olivia?" Her voice still high with excitement.

"Yes, it's me." I add with a giggle. "You're on speaker."

"Oh, congratulations, Liv!" My smile is wide as I listen to her. "You beautiful girl, I cannot wait to see you in a wedding gown."

"Thank you, Lyn, I really appreciate it."

Edison shakes his head at me in response.

"I like how I, your only son, called to tell you that I was getting married and you told Olivia congratulations first."

Laughter comes through the speaker.

"Edison, you should really stop being so needy." Laughter punctuates her sentence. "Congratulations, honey, you better not mess this up. Olivia's the best thing that's ever happened to you."

Edison kisses my cheek in agreement.

"Yes, I know." He pauses. "Alright, Mom, I love you and we'll call you later. We have to call Liv's parents."

"Alright, I'll talk to you guys later. Love you."

And then the phone goes silent and the screen flashes as the call ends.

Edison gives me a small smile before looking pointedly at my phone. I find my mother's number swiftly and take a deep breath before pressing the small call button and the phone picks up almost immediately.

"What?" The voice answers on the other end of the line.

"Wow that's a great way to answer my mother's phone. You have no idea who I could have been." I reply.

"Shut up. Mom has caller id and she has Bluetooth so it says 'Liv is calling' right before it starts ringing." She pauses. "I could have just ignored you seeing as how you know that this is the day that we have our mother/daughter bonding breakfast."

My mother cuts in before the conversation can digress any farther.

"Alright, Jordan, Liv didn't call to talk to you." She stops lowering her voice and I can hear her chastising my sister. "You okay, Olivia? What did you need, Honey?"

I pause searching for the right words so Edison gives me a smile of encouragement.

"Well…I'm glad that you guys are together because I have some news." I pause again, purely for dramatic effect. "I'm getting married!"

I immediately hear choking.

"You're getting _married_?!" Jordan shouts through the phone. "When the hell did that happen?!"

"Um, last night?" It comes out as a question instead of a statement. "Edison proposed over dinner."

"And you said yes?!" The astonishment in her voice is genuine and I can tell that Edison's feelings are hurt by the obvious surprise over my answer.

I get up as fast as I can, removing myself from the room before my sister says something that can end my relationship before it's even had the chance to really begin. I can see Edison's confused expression as I close myself in the bathroom. I run in to my closet, knowing the bathroom will just project the conversation like a megaphone, and move sit under the clothes rack like I did as a child. Before I continue the conversation I move my legs up to press against my chest in an upright fetal position, bracing myself for what is about to be said.

"Hey, I'm back." I sigh in to the phone. "Mom?"

"Liv, you know that I'm happy as long as you're happy."

Of course Jordan's opinion is different.

"Well, because I'm not your mother my happiness doesn't depend on yours." She stops, probably waiting for me to interject, before continuing. "Olivia Pope, you do not love Edison Davis."

"Yes, I do."

"No, you don't. You might like him a whole lot but that doesn't mean go and get _married!_"

"I said the same thing about you and Elliott and look at where you guys are." She's silent for a change. "You were eighteen when you guys got married. I'm older, more mature, and I've thought this through."

I can almost hear her eyes roll through the phone.

"Jordan, you keep rolling your eyes like that and they're going to get stuck in the back of your head." My mom says. "Liv, does that mean you'll be coming home for Christmas? Daddy and I would love to see you, especially given the news."

I sigh softly.

"Ma, I don't know yet. Let me talk it through with Edison first but probably not." I utter trying to let her down easy.

I hear Jordan scoff at my answer. She, unfortunately, knows exactly why I'm avoiding the entire west coast as a whole.

"It would really mean a lot to us if you did, Liv." She confesses. "Your sister sees you all of the time but your father and I can barely catch a glimpse of you unless it's on the television. I'm just saying it would be nice to have everyone in the same place for Christmas…_for once_."

"I know, Mom, I know. I promise that I'll talk to Edison, okay?" I respond before looking at my watch. "Hey guys I have to go. It's almost twelve here so I'll call you both later." I giggle lightly knowing that my next statement might cause a riot in my mother's car. "And Jordi, I know that you're secretly really happy to have Edison as a brother-in-law, you don't have to hide it."

My mom laughs and I can hear Jordan laugh facetiously with her.

"I love you, Liv." My mom chokes through her laughter.

The phone gets quiet immediately afterwards.

"Livi, I'm happy if you're happy. I just worry about my big sister." Jordan admits. "I love you.

"I love you, too." I whisper just before the phone disconnects.

I look up to see Edison standing the closet door.

"Your mom wants us to come to California, I take it."

"Yeah…she's complaining about never seeing me…" I commented. "I know you wanted to go to your parents' this year, though, so I told her we'd talk about it but we probably wouldn't."

He nods his head slowly, thinking over my words.

"Do you remember what you first said to me when we started dating?" He asks out of the blue.

"No…what?"

"You said that you never wanted to get married." He walks toward me as he speaks, kneeling down in front of me so that we're somewhat eye level. "What made you change your mind?"

I think over his question, immediately remembering exactly which discussion he's referring to.

"I guess when I said that I didn't think that we'd be here." I answer. "I didn't think that I would ever fall in love so, in turn, I wouldn't ever get married."

He nods while mulling over my words.

"So you're in this?"

"You bet your ass I am. You're stuck with me."

* * *

It's 6 o'clock Thursday morning when the doorbell rings unexpectedly. Edison and I pause, looking at each other, dropping everything in our hands as we rush to get to the door so that we can finish getting ready.

"I'll get it." I volunteer, knowing that I'm closer to being ready for work than he is. "Finish getting ready, don't worry about it."

I rush to the front door and open it hastily without checking who it is and to my surprise it's Quinn.

"Quinn!" I shout pulling her in to the house. "What are you doing here?!"

She laughs at my exuberance.

"Well..." She trails off in a sing-song voice. "I've was in D.C. for all of a day when I got a call from Harrison telling me that you were engaged?!"

I can see the undercurrent of shock on her face, like she hadn't believed for a second that the news was true.

"I would have called you myself but I got a little busy an-"

"Don't apologize to me Olivia Pope, I used to work for you, I know exactly how busy you get which is why I'm here bright and early because I knew that if I didn't catch you now you'd be _way_ too busy later."

"Well, I'm glad you did." Our excitement over seeing each other again fades a little and I realize that she hasn't only come just to give her congratulations. "Quinn, what else did you want to talk about?"

She sighs, knowing that I've read her correctly.

"You're getting married…"

"Yeah…and…?"

"What about Fitz?"

His name stops my entire thought process and my body is hit with a million and one feelings at once. Edison's figure in the hallway brings me out of my trance and I can tell by the look on his face that he had been listening the whole time. My gaze shifts from his face back to Quinn's.

"We're over, Quinn." I sputter softly. "We've been over for a long time."

"Liv, what about what you guys had together?"

"What about it!" My voice is raised when I speak and I can feel my face heating up.

I know that Quinn has absolutely no idea that Edison is listening but it still makes me incredibly angry that she has put me in this position.

"Are you still in love him?" Quinn almost whimpers, seeming so childlike in the moment.

"I love Edison." I state strongly hoping the answer is enough. "Fitz is in my past. I love _Edison_."

She sighs deeply and I almost can't take anymore questioning, especially with Edison staring a hole in to my forehead.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come over here bringing up Fitz…considering the circumstances and all." She pauses to look directly in to my eyes. "I was out of line and before you ask, he didn't send me to question you. I don't even think he knows."

I nod at her, taking in what she's said.

"How is he?" As soon as the question comes out I can feel Edison's disappointment burn through me.

"He's good." Quinn's face brightens as she speaks. "It's weird being with him in California because things have slowed down so much. I feel like he doesn't even need me but, you know Fitz, he wants everyone to feel wanted."

I laugh at that.

"Yeah, I know."

"I never thanked you for getting me a job with him. Not everyone can say that they work for the former President of the United States and I owe that all to you." Quinn emphasizes.

"You got the job because of your talent, it had very little to do with me."

She shakes her head vehemently.

"I'm not even going to start that argument with you." She chuckles. "I know you have to get going so I'm going to head out."

She moves in to give me a hug and we exchange goodbyes as I open the door for her, waiting for her to get on to the elevator. She gets on, waving once more but before the doors close she looks at me with pity.

"He really misses you, Liv. You should give him a call."

And that's all that she can get out before the elevator doors close her off from my view. I immediately ignore her words and shut the door, remembering exactly how late I am.

"Do you still love him?"

Edison's voice catches me off guard as I round the corner to our bedroom. He's staring at the floor as he speaks.

"Edison." I sigh. "Look at me."

His eyes come up to mine instantly. That's one thing that I always liked about him. His ability to listen to me when I tell him to do something.

"I love _you_."

His eyebrows furrow together as he throws on his suit jacket.

"Are you sure about that?" He walks across the room to get closer to me as he speaks. "All of these years I was completely convinced that you were over him. Not so much in the beginning but after a few months I never even thought about it but now…I don't know what to think."

"Edison-"

"Olivia, I don't even think that you know. I can't be confident in it if you're not."

I roll my eyes at him, moving across the room to put as much space between us as I possibly can.

"Why does it matter? It's not like I'll ever see him again or like we'll ever be friends."

His huffing and puffing after my answer lets me know that I haven't said what he wants to hear.

"It isn't fair to either of us if you marry me when you really want to be with him."

"It doesn't matter, Edison. I don't even know Fitz anymore."

"But it does, Liv." He countered. "It does matter."

"What do you want me to say?" I question condescendingly. "That I'm not in love with him? Fine. I don't love Fitz."

Edison takes a deep breath before speaking.

"That's what I want to hear but I don't want to hear it if you don't want to say it. I don't want to hear it if you're only saying it for my benefit and you don't really mean it."

At this point I'm tired of the conversation and I'm thirty minutes late for work.

"I don't know what you want me to do, Edison."

"How about we go to Santa Barbara for Christmas?" He suggests. "Your parents are dying to see you and your folks are close with Fitz. That way we spend Christmas with your family and you figure out how you feel because I don't need you figuring out that you want to be with someone else five years in to our marriage."

"Edison, that's not a good idea at all."

"Why?" He questions, pausing to give me a chance to answer. "It's not like we're going to hang out with your ex. We're going to California so you can spend time with your family and at the same time having minimal social exposure with Grant."

"I just don't think it's a good idea." I reply softly. "Plus, we told your mom that we were spending Christmas with her."

"My mom will understand." Edison walks over to me, tilting my face up to make direct eye contact with me. "California will be fine. The only logical reason you would have to be scared is if you don't know how you feel about him. Which you already said you do. It's settled. Make sure you call your family and tell them."

He leans down and kisses my lips softly and then makes his way to the front door, slamming it as he exits and leaving me alone in the silence to think. Edison was right, though. The only legitimate reason I would have to be afraid of by going back is if I'm unsure of my feelings for Fitz. That's the thing. I haven't directly thought about Fitz in years but he has this way of taking over all of my thoughts and senses when I'm around him, easily making me love him again.

I don't know if I can get on that plane and fly back to him.

* * *

**I didn't die I just briefly forgot that I had a fanfic. My bad. **

**This chapter is Edison filled but Olivia's wording when talking to him is verrrry deliberate. If you can catch it you get a gold star. The next chapter should be up in a week but don't hold me to it, I'm forgetful. Reviews do motivate me to write faster though so you should click the awesome little button at the bottom of you screen and leave me a little gift. :-)**


	3. Chapter 3

**I realize that I am a terrible updater but thank you reading and reviewing anyway. I got some reviews that made me want to get them tattooed on my arms so that I can read them when I'm having a bad day. Thank you guys so much. You have no idea how many times I read the reviews in the middle of writing just so I can have motivation. It is a pleasure being able to write for you.**

* * *

"It's not too late to go to your parents' place. Your dad seemed really disappointed." I try pleading with him once more as the wheels of the plane touch the ground at LAX.

"I'm not changing my mind, Liv." He replies sternly. "Plus, we wouldn't want to disappoint _your_ parents, now, would we?"

I roll my eyes at the sarcasm in his voice. I don't know if I'm so irritated because I didn't think Edison was serious about being in California for Christmas or if it's because he's so damned happy about it but whatever the reason, he's picked up on my mood and is quiet as we exit the aircraft, collect our luggage, and sign for the rental car. The first time that he speaks is when we're an hour and a half into our drive and about fifteen minutes from my parents' house.

"Olivia?" His voice is soft when he speaks, almost a whisper, and his eyes are locked directly on the road. "Are you really upset that we're here?"

I can feel my posture soften from the defensive, closed-off pose that I had adopted as soon as I entered the SUV. I almost feel bad as I hear the tenure of his voice. Edison has always been very careful about doing exactly what I want, essentially following orders, so I'm sure he's worried about my attitude towards him right now. I sigh softly, gathering my thoughts.

"No…I'm not upset." I assure him. "I'm more or less confused about why you're so adamant about being here. I just don't know what you're expecting to happen."

He nods his head in a pensive manner with his eyes still locked directly on the road. I can tell that he's purposely avoiding looking at my face.

"Edison…"

"It was just a question, Liv." He finally looks at me. "Don't overthink it."

There's no time to reply before we're pulling into the driveway and he's exiting the car hastily. As I get out of the car I can see a curtain flutter and I know we've been detected.

"Leave the bags. They already know that we're here and if we take too long they'll just come out."

He promptly closes the trunk and grabs my hand, gesturing for me to lead the way. I know that they've already seen us so I don't bother knocking or ringing the doorbell, instead, opting to walk right in to the chaos. As soon as my left foot steps in to the foyer there's yelling and squealing and hugging and I almost can't handle all of the contact.

"Let me see the ring, let me see the ring." I can hear my little brother shout as he pushes Edison out of the way.

I give him a look, knowing that the roughness of the push was _very_ deliberate. He grabs my left hand and looks up unimpressed.

"It's alright."

Edison's face drops, my father bursts in to laughter and my mother looks extremely embarrassed.

"I happen to like my ring, okay, Ri." I spit out as quickly as I can, taking up for Edison. Then I lean in to his ear. "Be nice, please."

He shrugs noncommittally and rolls his eyes. That has to be a family trait. My mom moves us all from in front of the door and leads us in to the kitchen.

"So, how's it being an only child?" I tease, reaching up to run my hand through my brother's tight curls.

"I love it." He says with a smirk. "I'm just glad that I don't have a toddler bothering me at this age and it was quite obvious when Jordan left who the favorite was."

"Oh, you mean me. After they were stuck with you they realized how great I am."

My mother cuts in on the bickering before it can even begin.

"Riley, Olivia, stop."

We smile at each other, rolling our eyes at my mother. Suddenly I'm incredibly happy that I'm here. Jordan and I see each other every once and a while because of her job but there hasn't been a time since I graduated from college where I could just sit around and joke with my little brother.

"Where are Jordan and Elliott?" I ask, taking a quick surveillance of the room although I know that they're not here.

"They're in Vegas. They'll be back late tonight so you'll see them tomorrow. Jordan had a meeting so Elliott took the day to drive her up there." My mother answers without looking up from her phone. "Okay, Riley, if you and Gerry are still getting together then you need to go get your things now. I don't want you out too late."

My brother nods and walks around the island and kisses the top of my head.

"I'm glad you're back." He whispers in my ear with a smile before making his way up the side staircase in the kitchen.

My dad takes that as his cue to leave as well, moving across the kitchen to give Edison one of those weird man hugs where they fold in one arm and do whatever guys do then he moves over to me and hugs me tightly.

"I love you, baby girl. It's good to have you home." He confesses to me before kissing my cheek and then heads up down the hall to his in-home office.

"So…what's the plan for today?" I ask my mother before Edison and I are left alone.

"Well, I'm picking up Gerry Grant and taking the boys to Starbucks so they can get some studying done or at least that's what they're telling me but the mall is across the street so I know that the chances of them actually studying is slim to none." She answers while throwing things in her purse. "Do either of you want to come?"

I knew that my brother was a friend to the youngest Grant but I had no clue that on my first day here I'd be thrown into a situation with any of them. Seeing Gerry might mean seeing his father and that was a possibility that I wasn't ready for just yet. I look at Edison to see if he has a preference for going or staying before I pass up the opportunity when he answers for me.

"We'd love to go. We've got nothing better to do."

"Alright, we'll leave as soon as Riley's ready to go. I'm going to head to the car."

When my mother finally exits the kitchen I throw Edison a look.

"We could've used this time to unpack not babysit."

"We're not babysitting." Edison mimics. "We're hanging out with your brother and your mom."

"We're not going to be _'hanging out'_ with my brother because he's a sixteen year old boy that could care less about our existence and as for my mom, she probably has errands to run after she drops off Riley. Really we're just riding in the car for another hour or two."

Edison gives me a look.

"The only reason you're against going is because we could run in to Grant."

I roll my eyes, ignoring him because he's exactly right and he knows it. Instead of responding I lean up to kiss him but as soon as my lips touch his we're interrupted.

"That's gross. Don't do that." Riley shouts, pushing our faces away from each other.

"Riley, what are you, five?" I ask, slightly annoyed. "Are you ready to go or what? We're tired of waiting."

"You're both going?"

"Yeah." Edison answers. "Liv and I figured it would be a good chance to spend a little time with you and your mom."

Riley stares at Edison for a moment and then looks back at me.

"You know what, I don't care." He quips before grabbing my forearm possessively. "Liv's riding in the back with me, Eddie, you take the front."

"Edison." He corrects.

"I know what your name is." Riley retorts and then proceeds to usher me from the house, leaving Edison trailing behind us. Once we're all settled in our spots in the car my mother looks a bit confused at our seating arrangements but doesn't question it.

"So, Edison, you happy to be in L.A.? I know that Miss. Olivia back there prefers to be on the east coast so much that she doesn't even want to visit her own family." My mother questions sarcastically.

I roll my eyes at her trying to guilt trip me but I'm secretly appreciative of the fact that she's trying to break the awkward silence that is hovering prevalently in the small space.

"I've actually been trying to get out here for a while but you know how Olivia is with her work."

"Wait." I speak up from the backseat as the car comes to a stop for clearance outside of a large guarded gate. "This is the house?"

My mother looks confused at the question.

"Fitz didn't tell you that he bought this house?" My mom queries, mostly to herself. "I know he values your opinion when it comes to real estate, you guys spent forever looking at places in New York when he was thinking about going up there. I'm surprised he didn't tell you."

Edison's head whips around so quickly at the mention of real estate that I'm slightly shocked that he didn't pull a muscle. I ignore his eyes piercing through my skull, my eyes locked on my mother.

"Why would he buy this house when the ranch is twenty minutes away?"

Riley answers for me.

"If they stayed at the ranch full time, Ger would have to go to another school, plus, because it's so isolated he wouldn't get to hang out with us as much because no one's parents want to drive up there so they stay at this house during the week and the ranch is kind of like their getaway when Karen is home or our super-secret man location as Gerry calls it."

I shake my head at that. Of course he would think of it as his secret little clubhouse.

"Alright, enough talking, let's go." Riley bellows and jumps out of the car, running towards the front door to ring the doorbell.

The rest of us take our time climbing out of the car and shuffling to the door so that by the time we get there the door has been left open for us and Riley is already inside.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Val, I'm almost ready, promise." Gerry exclaims, digging around in a closet, without poking his head out.

When he locates what he was looking for he shouts 'Ah ha' and then backs out of the closet, slamming it shut and turns around, immediately facing me. I can see the astonishment wash over his face as he takes me in.

"Liv, I didn't know you were here." He rejoices, pulling me in to a tight hug. "I haven't seen you in forever."

This was not the reaction I was expecting but I hug him back with as much zeal as he's hugging me. He lets me go after a lengthy hug and looks me up and down, I'm assuming, taking in the differences in my appearance since he's last seen me.

"Did you get the gift I sent for your birthday?"

" Of course, you always send the best gifts. You look great, by the way." He compliments with a crooked grin much like his father's.

Riley's hand comes out of nowhere and slaps Gerry hard enough to emit a sound that echoes.

"Watch it, that's my sister and she was almost your mom at one point." He warns with a low growl.

"I know, man, I'm just saying." He whimpers, ducking away from him. "Liv doesn't mind, right Liv?"

I chuckle at the boys but before I can answer a voice comes from above us and startles me in to silence.

"Livi?" Fitz' voice booms across the foyer from the top of the staircase. "I didn't know you were in town."

He bounds down the steps, taking them two at a time, ignoring everyone else with his eyes trained on me. I'm simultaneously hoping for the ground to swallow me whole and for me to be in his strong arms, which are bulging from underneath the fitted white t-shirt showing exactly how toned he is. When he reaches the bottom of the stairs he b-lines straight for me and my second wish is granted when he pulls me into his arms, lifting me from the ground. With no hesitation, my arms find themselves wrapped around his shoulders, my fingers grazing the curly hairs at the nape of his hairline, begging to delve deeper as my face burrows into his neck, breathing in the scent that is uniquely Fitz. I can tell that he's doing the same, his nose is right above my left ear and I can hear him deeply inhale, like he's trying to get high off of my smell alone. He finally exhales, his breath tickling the side of my face before he whispers in my ear.

"God, Livi, I missed you."

I nod softly.

"Me, too."

I don't know how long we've been locked in an embrace but it's long enough for Edison to clear his throat. Fitz chuckles softly into my hair and gives me one more squeeze before gently settling me back on my feet; however, he doesn't back away like I expected him to and instead chooses to stand directly behind me as Edison begins to speak.

"My President." Edison sneers and sticks his hand out. "Edison Davis. I don't believe we've had the pleasure of meeting out of a professional setting."

Fitz sticks his hand out as well and I can tell by how long their handshake is that the strong dislike that Edison has for Fitz is mutual.

"You're right, I don't think we've seen each other past meetings in the White House." Fitz agrees but still does not adjust his proximity to me. "So, Livi, you two are dating?"

I turn around to face Fitz, using the opportunity to move farther away from him.

"Actually, we're…um...we recently-"

"We're engaged." Edison finishes for me.

The bewilderment on Fitz' face is apparent.

"Wow…I guess congratulations are in order." He mumbles.

I nod my head awkwardly and then the foyer is void of sound as we all marinate in the awkwardness of the situation.

"I guess it's time to go then, huh?" Gerry offers, trying to ease the tension.

We all nod in agreement and make our way back out of the front door. As we head to the car I try my hardest not to turn around, exerting all of my energy into looking straight ahead but I can't help it. Right before climbing into the car I turn to take a quick peek behind me and our eyes lock and it's almost like meeting him all over again.

"Olivia, we don't have all day." Riley whines from the other side of the car, breaking me out of the trance that I seemed to be stuck in.

So, I jump into the car as quickly as possible, consciously deciding to stare at the upholstery as we leave to avoid looking back at Fitz, however, when I finally look up, the disapproving look on Edison's face is enough encouragement to keep my eyes down for the rest of the ride.

* * *

The sun coming through the open curtains is what wakes me up the next morning. Edison isn't beside me and I can hear Jordan's loud voice floating up the stairs so I don't worry about him, instead opting to take my time getting ready alone. Once I'm ready, I make my way down the stairs that lead to the front door, taking extra precaution to be quiet so that I can eavesdrop. I hear the tv going but I can't tell exactly what they're watching.

"Let's pick a different one. This one's boring."

I hear Jordan complain. Someone gets up and I can hear the tapes in the cabinet being shuffled around.

"This one says 'WH'…what does that mean?" Riley asks.

"'WH' stands for White House, you loser. Put it in."

It's Jordan again. She's so rude to my brother. I'm clearly the better sister.

"What do you think is on that tape?" Elliott asks. "National security secrets or Olivia's twisted sex tape?"

I hear Edison join Elliott and Jordan in laughter and then I hear the tape start and Jordan gasps.

"Babe, you remember this?" Jordan questions softly.

The sad part is that she really thinks that she's whispering. I never hear the answer but I can hear that the tape is still going. Then I hear my father's voice on the recording and I instantly know which tape this is. I instantly want it stopped.

"_Liv, how does it feel to be Mrs. Fitzgerald Grant, First Lady of the United States of America?"_

I hear Edison take a deep breath as my girlish giggle plays.

"_Daddy." _My voice is filled with faux astonishment. _"I'm not Mrs. Grant quite yet. I'll still be a Pope for a little while before I'm the official first lady."_

I hear myself giggle again and I know that without looking that this is the part where I looped my arm through my father's and lead him in to the living room of the residence.

"Edison, we can change the tape if you'd like." Elliott offers.

Edison's voice is gruff when it comes and I know that he has no idea that I'm here but it still serves its purpose in making me feel terrible about my entire existence.

"No. I want to watch this." His voice gets lower. "I've never seen her smile like that before."

That's when my heart cracks in half as the tape keeps playing in the background.

"_Hey!" _Riley's, then squeaky, voice shouts from behind the camera. _"I wanna see the ring." _

I remember holding my left hand up proudly with a huge smile on my face.

"_Isn't it gorgeous, Ri?" _My awed voice plays through the living room.

"_It's big!" _Eight year old Riley was incredibly impressed.

"Now _that's _what I call an engagement ring."

Apparently sixteen year old Riley is _just _as impressed. I hear skin slapping together and a small 'ow'. I silently thank Jordan for smacking him. He thinks he's slick with his pointed comments and he's really not. The tape continues to play and I can hear my mother start to speak on the recording.

"_It's beautiful, Olivia. It looks like it belongs on your finger. Fitz has great taste."_

"_Where _is_ Fitz?" _Jordan's recorded voice booms right after my mother's.

"_Yeah, that's who I came for." _Elliott cosigns. "_I know what you look like. What's the point of having a sister-in-law that's dating the president if I never get to meet him."_

"_He's working." _My voice is high pitched and defensive. _"He's the leader of the free world, you know."_

"_Well, I guess he's forgiven but only because he's letting us stay here and it's absolutely beautiful o-"_

"_Who, Livi?" _Fitz' voice interrupts Jordan's. This is the part where he crosses the room and gathers me in his arms. He then continues to punctuate each of his words with a small kiss to my face. _"She _is_ absolutely beautiful and brilliant and sexy-"_

"_Excuse me, Mr. President but that _is_ my daughter that you're talking about."_

Laughter breaks out on the tape and it makes me smile at how happy we all were.

"_Alright, alright. I'm done." _He jokes with my father and this is the part where I know he leans down to kiss me. It had started off as a small peck but in the moment I realized that I hadn't seen him all day and the room disappeared around us as I used my tongue to deepen the kiss.

"_You guys are gross." _Riley's voice whines from behind the camera.

I can hear Fitz and I laughing at him.

"_Hey, Riley, what are you going to do with that camera, huh? Sell videos of me to the media? Tell them that I'm a terrible president?"_

Riley's laughter is loud and childlike. He used to think that Fitz was the coolest person on Earth.

"_No…"_ He giggles in response. _"I'm making a vacation video."_

"_Well, isn't that smart." _Fitz' voice gets louder as he gets closer to Riley.

I poke my head into the living room to see Fitz kneeling in front of eight year old Riley, or really Riley's camera, on the tv screen.

"_What do you want to do while you're here? I'm the President; we can do whatever you want."_

I chuckle softly at me and Jordan scoffing in the background.

"_Can we go on Air Force One?!"_

"_Of course we can! We can go right now if you want."_

My voice interjects, shill and mother-like.

"_Fitz, you cannot just take him for a joyride on Air Force One."_

"_Of course I can. I'm the president, remember, Liv."_

I see my face scrunch up at the ludicrousness of the situation.

"_What other time can an eight year old boy ride in the official presidential aircraft?" _He tries reasoning.

I see my shoulders drop in defeat.

"_Fine, but Karen and Gerry are still in school and I don't want them to miss out so I'll go get them. It's a Friday so they get out early anyway. Plus, it's barely twelve, if I can catch them before lunch we can all eat together. Does that sound like a plan?"_

Fitz pulls me in to his chest and kisses the top of my head.

"_Like I said, brilliant. While you get the kids we'll freshen up and by the time you get back everything should be ready to go."_

The camera starts to shake and wobble, probably from Riley's excitement.

"_I don't need to do anything, Momma, can I go with Liv?"_

I see my mother throw me a look. I smile slightly watching the video play. I'm still glad that he didn't leave me for Fitz. He always loved him.

"_Of course you can come with me but you have to turn that stupid camera off."_

The camera immediately focuses on the ground as he mumbles unintelligibly before the video cuts and the television fills with static.

"Well, that was interesting." Jordan says after a few moments of silence.

At that moment Riley turns around and spots me in the doorway.

"Hey, Liv. How long have you been standing there?"

"I just got here. I heard Jordan's loud mouth. Where's mom and dad?"

"I was not that loud and mom and dad left about an hour ago. They had an old people's meeting or something." Jordan answers.

I shake my head at her. What the hell is an old people's meeting?

"Okay, well, what are you doing here so early?"

"It's ten o'clock, Liv. Anyway I set up a brunch with a few of our friends. I figured we could kill two birds with one stone, y'know, eating and visiting at the same time."

"Who's we?" My face scrunches up in confusion as I question her.

"Me, you, Elliott, and special guests that you aren't allowed to know about because it's a surprise."

I turn to Edison immediately realizing that his name was not included on that list.

"Why isn't Edison going?"

The question is directed at Jordan but I look at Edison while I ask it. Instead of answering me, he proceeds to get up from the couch and exit the room.

"I've got a conference call."

He throws the comment over his shoulder, already starting up the steps. I can see the look on my siblings faces and I already know that this is something that I have to fix so instead of entering the room I about-face and head straight back up the stairs behind Edison. When I enter the room he is looking through his laptop bag taking out papers and highlighters.

"What's wrong?" I ask softly from the doorway. "I just woke up. How did I piss you off that fast?"

He chuckles humorlessly and shakes his head at me.

"In all of the years that we've been together, you didn't think that I should know that you and Grant were engaged or married or whatever you were?" His voice breaks while he speaks.

He's hurt and that's the worst part. He's not angry like I want him to be. I can deal with anger but I have a hard time answering to hurt and betrayal. I want to answer his question honestly, though. I want to tell him that I don't talk about it with anyone because I still feel like I'm being dragged over flaming coals anytime I think about it. How it's still fresh in my mind the very night that I threw the beautiful ring back in Fitz' face, kissed the kids, packed my bags and never looked back. I want to explain to him that bringing up that engagement isn't a topic that we could ever just breeze over. He would have questions. Questions that required old stories and memories that I wouldn't be able to get through without new pain and suffering. I want to tell him that if I had known back then that I wouldn't be able to think about my past with Fitz for longer than thirty seconds before the painful sobs wrecked through my body, that I wouldn't have done it at all. I don't though. I take the easier route and lie.

"It just never crossed my mind, I guess."

I know that my answer is incredibly lacking by the incredulous look that passes his face.

"We only told our families so it wasn't something that I was used to talking about. It's _not_ something that I'm used to talking about. It was the first year of his presidency, he already had a lot to deal with coming from the media and he thought we needed privacy. I don't talk about it because I _never_ got to talk about it. I wore my ring around my neck most days and the only wedding planning that ever got done was a little talk about where we'd spend our honeymoon. I just forget sometimes. It slipped my mind. I'm sorry."

He seems to except my second excuse a little better than the first and I'm more grateful than ever to move on from the subject.

"Have fun with your friends today. I'll see you later." Is what he leaves me with before exiting the room altogether.

I feel bad for all of ten seconds when I remember that he's the one that wanted to come on this stupid trip anyway. That thought alone tucks the guilt away nice and easy and I walk out of the room to join my sister without a thought of him or our previous discussion in my mind.

* * *

"Olivia. I don't think that this is funny. Give. It. Back."

I giggle hysterically holding the strawberry as far from my body as I can possibly get it. Everyone else at the table is red in the face from laughter at the little game that I've started.

"Tell me that I'm the smartest most brilliant and beautiful woman in the entire world." I demand, keeping the small fruit hostage for the compliments.

"Olivia Carolyn Pope you are the smartest most brilliant woman in the entire world. There? Can I have it back now?"

"Nope. You forgot beautiful." I tease, bringing the strawberry back into view and licking the surface area childishly before throwing it back on the empty plate of its owner. "Still want it?"

I am absolutely shocked when the berry is plucked from the plate and quickly chewed and swallowed. I try not to show any emotion but I can't get over the disgust that I feel over that one action.

"Ewww!" I squeal girlishly. "You're gross."

"Seriously, Olivia? Your tongue practically lived in his mouth for like five years. I'd rather see you guys lick each other's food than to watch you guys swap spit." Jordan interjects.

That comment sends the table into hysterics again; however, Fitz and I quiet down, staring holes into our prospective plates. I realize instantly just how close we're sitting, how I've allowed myself to become way too comfortable with him in the last hour that we've been in the restaurant. I should have known that something was up when Jordan refused to give me a guest list but I followed along and ended up walking into a private back room with Fitz, Steven, and Georgia and because Jordan obviously has Elliott and Steven and Georgia are together I was forced to sit next to Fitz. I knew that it wasn't a coincidence and neither was the choice of restaurant. The Harbor is cute little restaurant that sits on a dock in Santa Barbara with a beautiful view of the water from every seat in the restaurant and the particular room that we are in happens to be the exact room the Fitz and I frequently reserved whenever we were in California together. There are also bottomless mimosas for ten dollars with any brunch entree and I know for a fact, by the position that I have found myself in with Fitz, that I've had one or two or three too many.

"I really didn't find it that funny." The tone in my voice immediately stops the cacophony of laughter.

Jordan throws me an apologetic look and says nothing more, choosing to down what's left in her glass.

"I'm sorry, Liv, but we've got to get going." Stephen mutters, no doubt feeling guilty for laughing.

The bill has already been paid so we all stand to leave the restaurant, blocking the front door to say our last goodbyes. Georgia and Stephen leave promptly after a hug from me and a promise to see them before I leave. Elliott drove off after them, leaving Jordan with me since he had to go to his office to catch up on some work and Fitz lingered around my driver's door, ensuring that he would get to talk to me privately.

"It really is good to see you." He begins. "I know how tough things get in D.C. but you should try to make it back to this side of the world more often."

I nod my head, agreeing with him.

"You haven't been president for all two minutes and you're telling _me_ to take a break?" I tease and he cocks his head to the side in laughter.

"I know, right? It's just so peaceful out here. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had never been president at all. If we'd be here…_together_." He murmurs wistfully. "I always thought that it'd be me and you but now you've got Davis."

I shake my head at him. Rejecting any idea of us being together.

"You don't get to say things like that anymore, Fitz." I chastise him. "Edison loves me."

He scoffs at me and grabs my left hand.

"Edison loves you? Livi, your ring doesn't even fit on your finger. It's practically a knuckle ring and I know that you have a hundred rings lying around, you love jewelry. Are you telling me that a United States senator couldn't afford to get you a better ring and a ring that wouldn't fly off if you flick your wrist too fast?"

I snatch my arm from his, maneuvering from around his body to get in the car.

"Let it go, Fitz. There_ is_ no more us. You don't have the right to be angry anymore."

With that I climb into the car and back out of the parking lot as fast as I can without looking at his devastated face in the rearview mirror. I'm halfway down the street when I notice Jordan leaning across the console to look at me.

"What the hell are you doing?" I bark, still reeling from my previous conversation.

"Nothing, I'm just observing you from a distance."

I reach over and smack her forehead with the palm of my hand, making her back up and settle into her own seat.

"There's not much of a distance when I can touch you, you idiot."

"Wow, someone's in a mood and I thought you'd be in a much better one after seeing Fitz." She observes sounding completely perplexed.

"Yeah, well…I'm not." I lament.

She doesn't speak again until I've pulled into her driveway and put the car in park, waiting for her to get out, however, instead of getting out she reaches over to turn my car off and then turns in her seat to look at me head on.

"Do you remember what I said to you when you convinced yourself that you were over Fitz, when you two broke up?"

I look at her quizzically. I don't remember much from the few months after that break up so I shake my head no.

"Well, as a refresher, you flew back here because you knew that Fitz wouldn't dare come to Mom and Dad's with the state that you were in and you stayed holed up in your bedroom and cried for a week straight. Then you got silent. Mom made me move back in until you were feeling better because she said that you needed family around but after the crying stopped you did nothing. You just sat and you stared. You didn't eat until I forced something down your throat and I thought for sure that if you didn't die from being so thin that you'd die from dehydration because getting you to drink anything was harder than I could have ever imagined. Then, on the fourth week Mom and Dad started getting worried and started talking about sending you for professional help because you hadn't said a word or showered in almost a month and when I told you that I found Mom crying about it one night, you instantly sobered up. You were talking and smiling and eating and Mom and Dad went off of high alert because they could tell that you were a little sad but you were better than you had been and that was enough for them. There were times, though, when you thought that no one was looking and you would drop the façade and you would start staring again. Staring at nothing I might add." She stops and sighs heavily in between her words. "You know, one thing that you are blessed with are those big, beautiful, expressive eyes."

I don't say anything about the link in her speech as my eyebrows furrow together in confusion but she continues anyway.

"They're a blessing and a curse that neither Riley _or_ _I_ got." She sighs again but this time she reaches her hand out to caress my cheek. "Liv, you talk and you smile and you sometimes eat but there are times when I look into your eyes and it seems like you've lived through an Armageddon. I've told you once before and I'll tell you again, as many times as I have to, the best feeling in the world is realizing that you're perfectly happy without the thing you thought you needed the most but if you wake up one morning and you're completely miserable without it then-"

"It's time to make the one decision that I know will make everything better…the hardest decision." I finish in a whisper.

My eyes are burning and I can feel the tears building but I refuse to let them fall as I look at my sister. She nods and drops her hand from my face and then leans over to kiss my cheek. She grabs her purse from under the dashboard and then quickly gets out of the car, making her way to the front door. Before she's even all the way in the house I'm slumped over the steering wheel, tears soaking my pants, my breath coming quick as loud sobs ring through the empty car, and every wrong choice I've made is lined up and concentrated in the forefront of my mind giving me a little time to regret and cry over all of them. I'm glad that Jordan turned off the car.

* * *

**So, most of this chapter has been done for a while but I really didn't like it. It felt useless and cheesy and generic so I let it sit because I didn't want to upload something just for the sake of updating and then I went to a three day debate tournament at Morehouse, I didn't sleep all three days, and then when I got to my dorm room the ending just came to me. With that said, sorry for making you guys wait so long but the way that this chapter looked yesterday sucked way more than it does right now.**

**As always, I would love it if you would review. They make me happy and they motivate me so press that awesome little button below.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Again, thank you guys so much for your lovely reviews. They make my day. I did find it interesting that in all of the reviews that no one mentioned Mellie. I'm not going to ramble, though. I hope you enjoy :-)**

* * *

It is eight o'clock at night and Jordan and I are standing at Quinn's doorstep with our hands full of bags, waiting for her to open the door. Jordan hits the doorbell with her elbow once more.

"If this girl doesn't move her ass I'm leaving." She whines.

I laugh at her impatience but we _have_ been waiting for a few minutes. Just as I open my mouth to respond, the door swings open to reveal a slightly disheveled Adam. Jordan and I roll our eyes at the site of him.

"This is why we've been waiting?!" I yell over Adam's shoulder at Quinn who is smiling meekly behind him. "There is a reason that this is called 'girls' night not 'let Quinn get laid while Jordan and Olivia stand outside cluelessly' night."

Adam chuckles and kisses my cheek before maneuvering his way between my sister and I.

"I'm sorry that you ladies had to wait but I will no longer be in your way so be happy about that." Adam assures. "Liv, you should be thanking me, Quinn has given me the job of making sure your men don't kill each other tonight."

"My_ men_?" I question skeptically.

"Well, tonight is also guys night which both of your guys are attending and we _are_ men so there's going to be beer, and because we're men, once we get a little drunk there's going to be an argument about who's dick is bigger which is _usually_ fine but that always turns into a talk about women and you and I already know that if Edison even _thinks _your name the wrong way that your man Fitz is going to hit him. So, with that said, my job is to keep Edison from saying something stupid, Fitz has already been given the 'don't taunt' talk but I'm there to re-enforce it and make sure they don't bash each other's faces in." He grins after his little speech. "You're welcome."

I roll my eyes at him but I'm incredibly thankful that he's willing to play mediator on his one night off that's designated for him to drink and have fun with the guys.

"Thank you, Adam, but Fitz is not my man. I'm not responsible for him or his behavior."

He gives me a look and shakes his head in return.

"I'm not going to argue this with you seeing as I'm already late." He walks down the steps to his car while he speaks. "Bye, dolls, have fun. Don't get naked without filming it."

We all shake our heads at him and enter the house, going straight to the kitchen to unpack the bags we've brought in. Quinn happens to get the bag with the alcohol and raises her eyebrows at me.

"Tequila? I thought we were going classy tonight, as usual, I was expecting a Cabernet Sauvignon or at least a bottle of Merlot but tequila? I wasn't expecting that at all."

"I'm having a bad life, okay. I needed something that was going to work fast." I answer without taking my eyes off of the bag that I am unpacking.

"You're having a bad life?!" Jordan questions facetiously. "Not Miss. Happily Engaged!"

I throw her a look.

"Screw you."

"That's incestuous, you're disgusting Olivia."

Quinn interrupts be for we can digress any further.

"Alright ladies, we haven't even started drinking yet and the incest jokes have already started. Let's hold off for a little bit, okay."

Jordan and I nod, sticking our tongues out at each other as soon as Quinn turns her back. As much as my sister annoys me, it's great to be able to have these moments with her just to act like children again. We behave, though, turning our separate ways to finish unpacking and once the pizza has arrived and the popcorn is cooked, we all settle in the living room with a glass of wine and the bottle of tequila sitting front and center in the middle of the table.

"So, should we start with a movie or Olivia's troubled personal life?" Jordan asks in a faux cheery voice.

Quinn laughs but I know that if I don't show preference that we'll start with me. As sarcastic as Jordan is, I know that she's being serious.

"I vote for a movie so that I can eat my food in peace." I make known before they can start questioning me. "Please, I'm begging you."

They give each other a look but concede to my wishes.

"I pick the movie, though!" Quinn shouts, jumping off of the floor pillow to run towards the entertainment center, almost knocking over the bowl of popcorn. "And Liv, since you opted for a movie that means that you have to sit through it."

At that Jordan jumps up to join her but I don't find myself growing nervous, Fitz doesn't have any movies. I'm just incredibly glad that he isn't an actor because they would have chosen any of his work no doubt. I'm wrong though. I should have known that if Quinn was adamant about picking the movie then there must have been a reason why. The DVD that begins playing is a recording of the old series True Hollywood Story and of course the subject is none other than Fitzgerald Grant.

"Guys…really?" I whine, hoping that they'll take pity on me.

They don't. We've made it halfway through the movie before I start to feel uncomfortable. Most of the beginning was his illustrious backstory but now they're starting to talk about me and the campaign. A cute picture of us flashes across the screen and I can't help but smile. It was from when we first met. We had known each other less than a week when it was taken but we clicked instantaneously and spent most of that time period strategizing alone. It was before things got complicated. Before I knew that I loved him and that he loved me. Before we had to deal with the children and Mellie and the media and just a relationship in general. That picture gave me a lot to smile about. Everything was fresh and new and it's almost heartbreaking to know that we are never going to get that wide eyed beginning back.

"That was one of the best years of my life." I sigh softly from behind my glass of wine, suddenly wishing for something stronger.

What did I bring tequila for if no one was going to drink it?

"Why?" Quinn asks curiously.

"Because that was the year that I…it was the year that I finally figured out what I wanted to do with my life." I lie straight through my teeth.

Jordan's head pops up from her phone at my answer. I know that she thinks we don't know that she's sexting Elliott but we do.

"It was the year that you figured out what you wanted to do with your life?" She questions skeptically.

I can't tell them that it's because I met Fitz. I can't tell them that it's because I got to travel across the country with the one person that understands me more than anyone. I can't tell them that it's because being in close quarters like that for so long brought out an amazing relationship with Karen and Gerry that I couldn't possibly have imagined. I can't tell them any of it because I'm supposed be in love with my fiancé. Because the best year of my life is supposed to be the one where Edison and I met or when we moved in together or when he proposed. But it's not and we all know why.

"After I graduated I floundered a little bit, if you can recall, and working on the campaign made me realize that I wanted to open OPA. I didn't feel so lost anymore."

"Sure." Jordan acquiesces, knowing surely that I'm lying.

We're all silent as we turn back to the tv and conveniently they're talking about how we denied our personal relationship until after the election, showing several clips of people, including us, dodging the questions about how intimate our relationship truly was.

"Does he have a girlfriend?" I enquire out of the blue.

Quinn stops to look at me and then a grin crosses her face.

"Why? Is there someone that's interested?" She articulates in the creepiest voice I've ever heard. "I'd be happy to pass his number along to any female that would like it. No judgements."

I roll my eyes at her.

"I'm just curious. My asking a question doesn't mean anything."

Jordan scoffs loudly.

"He tried the dating circuit a few years back but fell flat. Currently, he's single." Quinn replies.

"Why, Liv? Would you be jealous if he was?"

"No. Absolutely not. I just wanted to know." I answer shaking my head emphatically. "Natural curiosity and all that jazz."

Quinn's phone pings from across the room and she dives for it like it's her last source of oxygen. Unexpectedly she holds up the phone and smiles at me.

"Speak of the devil, guess who left the man party early and is now bored?" She asks in a singsong manner.

I pretend not to care, ignoring her completely when her phone flies across the room and lands in my lap. I look up with a confused expression painted across my face.

"What is this for?"

"He doesn't want to talk me. He texted _me_ but he said 'How's Liv? I hope you guys aren't so drunk that you'll be decommissioned all of tomorrow.'" She shakes her head as she speaks. "He's making it seem like he cares whether we're drunk or not but he asked about you first. That's what he really wants."

I shake my head at her but I unlock the phone to text him anyway.

**I'm fine. It's Liv, by the way, Quinn handed over her phone to me.**

_Rightttt. I was just checking on you. Edison mentioned that you haven't been in the best mood lately. You alright?_

**I told you, I'm fine. Edison over exaggerates. I don't want to talk to you about him though. How was guy's night?**

_Uneventful. How's girl's night?_

**Same. We're watching a movie. What are you doing up so late if you're not with the guys? Insomnia still kicking your ass?**

_I'm watching some crap reality show because it has been more frequently. Especially since you showed up. I'm always up thinking._

I ignore his text. Twiddling my thumbs. I know what he's trying to do. Where he's trying to take me and I already know that I can't handle it in a room with one of my best friends and my sister. Thankfully another text comes through.

_What movie are you guys watching?_

**It's actually your THS :- )**

_Haha. Who's choice? I'm going to take a wild guess here and say that it wasn't yours._

**You would be correct. It was Quinn. I said I wanted to watch a movie, by default I didn't get to choose.**

_Of course. The standard home movie rule. _

_Are you happy that you're back? In California I mean._

I take a moment to think about his question. I still want to make sure that I'm maintaining a safe friend boundary.

**It's weird because now that I'm here I don't even remember my reason for staying away. I feel at home.**

_Of course you do. This is your home. Sort of. Your parents have been here your entire adult life._

**I know but…everything's different. Especially with me and you.**

A text comes through and I open it immediately thinking that it's Fitz, however, I'm pleasantly surprised by a graphic text from, which I'm hoping is a drunk, Adam.

**I have to go. Quinn needs her phone back.**

His reply comes almost instantaneously.

_Text me from your phone. I know that you have my number._

I'm angry because he's right.

"Quinn, please don't continue this conversation now but Adam is texting you."

She looks up from the movie that I had altogether forgotten that we were watching. I had stopped paying attention as soon as I started talking to Fitz.

"You done sexting my boss from my phone, you pervert?" She mocks, stretching across the floor to grab her phone from me.

I ignore her and pick up my own phone, slightly eager to continue my conversation.

**It's me.**

_I find it interesting that you had my number but I didn't have yours. Were you planning on prank calling the president?_

I giggle at that. When we were together Jerry had gone through this phase where he was trying to fit in at his new school so he would prank call Fitz at every sleepover he went to because his friends thought it was cool that the President answered his own phone.

"I'm sure whoever you're talking to is providing some incredibly scintillating conversation with all of the giggling and smiling that's going on over there." Jordan throws over her shoulder as she gets up to turn off the, now finished, movie. "How is he?"

"Why do you think that I'm talking to a he?" I can tell by the look on her face that she's not going to play along. "If I _were_ talking to the he that you _think_ I'm talking to then I would _assume_ that he's fine."

"Okay, then can you _assume_ what he's doing that's so important that he left guy's night?"

I stare at her for a moment before I give in.

"He's watching tv."

She laughs and shakes her head.

"You are so easy."

I ignore her and focus my attention back on Fitz.

**I wasn't before but now I am.**

_Would you be drunk when you did it? I know that a drunken Livi is a fun Livi._

I bite my lip, staring at the text. I could respond with something equally as inappropriate but would that equate to friendly banter or crossing a line? It's hard to know what friendship territory is with him because we were never friends at all. We went from zero to sixty in a matter of weeks and I completely refused to acknowledge his existence immediately after our break up. Should I, as a friend, know just how good he feels pressed up against me when we're both shirtless? Should his name completely take over my thought process? How people are friends with their exes, I will never understand.

"Liv?" Jordan's voice calls my attention. "You okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

Quinn answers for her.

"Because you went from smiling, to conflicted, to confused, to weird almost turned on face, back to confused."

I just nod in response. They'll never let me live it down if I tell them what Fitz really said. It'll turn into a thirteen year old girl's sleepover where we all hover over my phone waiting for the next message before we dissect every word and agree on a response. Nah. I think I'll keep this one to myself.

"Hey, Liv?" Quinn says, her tone unreadable. "Can I ask you a really personal question?"

Jordan and I both give her a weird look. What could be more personal than the ever present, top of the list discussion about my sex life? I nod anyway, giving her the okay to continue.

"I always thought that you didn't come to California because you didn't want to see Fitz or interact with him but…" She sighs like she's trying to phrase her question right. "Did you really stay away because you were afraid of the feelings that you have for him? It's just that I've been watching how you've been with him these past few days and you're certainly not acting like someone that's trying to avoid him so I was trying to figure out what else it could be and that's all that I could come up with."

I turn to look at Jordan and by the expression on her face she agrees with Quinn. They've apparently been on the same page. The question is, do I tell the whole truth or do I dilute some of it? I opt for the first choice. Maybe it's the liquid courage. Maybe it's the fact that I never get to talk about things like this to people that aren't my therapist. I sigh heavily and empty the rest of my glass.

"Yes." I answer simply, looking her dead in the eyes. "It's just that…I was so good at locking everything that had to do with him in a box and putting that box in the back of my mind and then sealing the door and putting men in hazmat suits in front of it…I was good at ignoring everything about him. I think that's why Edison wanted to come so badly…because he wanted to know how I felt about Fitz without having me ignore him or make up some bull crap answer. When I got here I was really positive that everything was in the past. I honestly didn't think about Fitz my entire relationship with Edison but now he's here and he's saying things and breathing and…I just don't know anymore."

"_You don't know_?" Jordan queries curiously.

"I really thought I was over him." I whisper into the quiet room. "I guess seeing him made me think about the past…think about what we had together. I forgot how before the end and after the rocky beginning that we were kind of amazing."

"If my two cents are worth anything," Quinn starts. "I would like to say that I thought you guys had a lot together and I had only known you for a two years before you guys split up. You were really happy with him, Liv. Plus, I work with Fitz so I really get to see what an influence on him you are every single day. You were great together."

"Yeah, I know but so are Edison and I."

Jordan sighs and then raises her eyes to mine.

"Do you think that you're over Fitz?"

"I don't even know anymore. I'm starting to overthink it, you know? Like, what if the feelings never went away and we were both just good at suppressing them?"

Quinn scoffs at the mere mention of suppression.

"Maybe you but definitely not him. He had nearly drunk himself to death when I started working for him. If anything he knows exactly how he feels because after the alcohol wore off he didn't even try to deny it."

I nod, taking in what she's saying.

"I'm just worried that I hid it for so long that I don't really know how I feel about him."

"So, you aren't over him." Jordan states matter of factly.

"No, I am!" I insist. "There's just something there that I didn't expect to feel."

"That's called love, Honey." Quinn says taunting me, rubbing my arm.

I shrug her off immediately, rejecting her comment.

"But I never felt this with Edison…" I wonder out loud.

Jordan laughs but says nothing as she reaches for the forgotten bottle of tequila and pops it open, handing it to me.

"Exactly." Is all she says as she smirks and sits back against the couch.

I understand perfectly the implications of her comment so I take her unspoken advice and start gulping the tequila like a fish out of water.

* * *

"Are you going shopping with us?"

"Shopping?" I ask with a bewildered expression.

"Yeah, Quinn, Adam, Fitz, sometimes Stephen and Georgia, Elliott and I do a little last minute Christmas shopping together. It's always really fun and it gives us a chance to buy gifts for each other. You wouldn't know because you never come home for Christmas." Jordan answers without looking up from her Essence magazine.

I scoff at her dramatically.

"Because when Fitz and I broke up, instead of doing the normal, _good_ family thing and hating him, you were his best friends. You guys act like I don't watch the news," My voice deepens to emulate a male reporter. "President Grant was seen in California earlier this morning having breakfast with the Pope family. It's nice that after the split from the eldest Pope sibling, Olivia, that the families are still amicable and dare I say, friends."

Laughter racks through Jordan's body as she slams her magazine shut and slides off of the kitchen barstool and onto the tiled floor.

"It wasn't that funny." I insist petulantly.

When she finally sobers up she looks up at me from the floor with a huge smile on her face.

"Well, Edison has work to finish up so you should come. It'll be fun. Elliott's going to be here in fifteen minutes to pick me up and as an incentive you can ride with us."

She says that like it's really an incentive.

"I can't. My hair is still wet _and_ I'm not dressed. Plus, I'm pretty sure that my breath still smells like a mixture of vomit and tequila."

I blame her for that. Some sister allowing me to drink most of the bottle by myself.

"Oh, whatever." Jordan chuckles. "Wear your hair curly, throw on some jeans and a t-shirt and brush your teeth again. You'll be as good as new."

I roll my eyes at her and make my way around the kitchen island to start up the side staircase.

"I'm only going because Christmas is in a few days and I don't have a gift for you." I throw over my shoulder. "Not because you're right."

She doesn't reply but instead begins mumbling loudly from the kitchen. When I push my bedroom door open Edison has his glasses on and is sitting against the headboard with his laptop on my pillow and his papers strewn all over the bed. I stand in the doorway, observing him for a moment.

"People that hover in doorways are people that are coming from nowhere or going nowhere." He quotes without looking up from his cellphone.

I don't respond, choosing to walk straight into the bathroom instead. I work some Aveda through my hair and then a little bit of mousse but my curls seem to be cooperating so I secure the front part of it in a clip so that only half of my hair is down. The less hair in my face the better. I walk into the closet and throw on the first pair of dark wash skinny jeans that my hands touch and a plain long sleeved white shirt with a red infinity scarf. Once I'm satisfied with my outfit I brush my teeth twice more and gargle some Listerine before stepping back into the bedroom.

"Which shoes do you like with this outfit more? Flats or converse?" I asks Edison, holding up both shoes.

He looks up briefly and does a double take.

"You're going out like that?"

I'm trying not to take is comment the wrong way but the tone in his voice leaves no room to make up a positive connotation.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

A guilty look comes across his face before he answers.

"I just meant that you never wear your hair like that in public. I thought that you said it was unprofessional?" He tries to smooth over.

"Yes, it's unprofessional when I'm in D.C. because at any point I may run into a client. Everything is business in Washington. I don't have to worry about that here and even if I did, I don't have time to straighten it anyway."

He hums under his breath.

"Well, I like it straight better."

I just stare at him, my face unmoving. I asked him for his opinion on my shoes not my hair.

"I like the flats." Jordan says, poking her head into the room. "Your leather jacket is hanging on the banister of the front stairs, it'll look cute with that outfit. I just came to tell you that Elliott's here so I'm going to go get in the car."

I nod at her and slip on my shoes, grabbing my purse off of the bureau.

"I didn't mean to offend you, Liv." Edison apologizes. "It's just my preference."

"It's fine. I'm fine." I assure him, leaning over to peck his lips quickly. "I'll see you later."

With that, I exit the room and bound down the stairs two at a time. Slipping on my jacket, I make my way out into the slightly chilled Californian air and jump into the backseat. Once I'm settled I lean forward to kiss Elliott's right cheek.

"Hey, little bro."

"What do you want?" He questions wearily.

"I'm just happy that I have you in my life."

He laughs and pays me no attention.

"How long 'til we get there?"

"Olivia," Jordan says in a low voice. "Elliott and I don't have children because we don't need a backseat heckler. Sit still and be quiet."

"I just want to know if we're going to be late." I defend myself. "Can you at least tell me that?"

"For someone that didn't want to go you're sure eager to get there. What, is Fitz texting you right now and taunting you about how long it takes you to get ready?" She jokes, laughing at herself.

When I don't answer she turns around in her seat with a large grin on her face.

"We're trying to be friends. Why do you care so much?" I answer in a monotone voice trying my hardest not to give anything away.

She smiles at me and then turns back around to smirk at Elliott.

"Sit back little duckling, we'll have you to Fitz as soon as possible." She croons as she turns on the radio effectively shutting me up.

And we don't talk for the rest of the ride.

* * *

Thirty minutes later we're pulling into a parking spot and making our way to a meeting spot with our lists and cellphones in hand. As we approach the group I silently curse Elliott in my head for driving so slow because it looks like everyone has been standing here for a little while.

"Oh, look who finally decided to show up." Fitz says loudly, clearly only pointing me out even though I arrived with two other people.

Jordan throws me a look but thankfully says nothing as we get to them. Fitz and I move toward each other and as soon as he opens his arms I'm in them but I pull away quickly so that we don't draw attention to ourselves, moving over to hug to Gerry.

"Riley, I didn't know that you stayed with Ger last night." I state after hugging Gerry.

"Yeah, well, Mom said that you might be coming in early this morning in a not so family friendly state so she kicked me out and from what I overheard from Quinn, it's probably a good thing that I wasn't home to see you stumble in drunk." He answers my unspoken question while wiggling his eyebrows at me.

I sneer in return.

"You don't know what you're talking about, I wasn't drunk, I was _slightly_ tipsy."

The entire group breaks into laughter before Elliott speaks up.

"So, do we want to start shopping for friends or family first?"

Fitz, Jordan, Gerry and I state a preference for family while the others pick friends.

"I changed my mind. I want to shop for friends first." Jordan spits out once we've all spoken.

"Well, I guess Dad and Liv should do their shopping together since they're the only ones that want to do family first." Gerry suggests.

"Um, no I'm pretty sure you said family, too." I retort.

"No I didn't. Have fun guys."

And with that they all turn to walk in the opposite direction. Fitz has no qualms. He turns me by my shoulders and begins walking like we haven't been forced together.

"Our families are so obsessed with us." I joke, breaking the silence.

He laughs heartily at me.

"You would think they had a bet going." He chuckles. "How much do you want to bet that they have a bet going?"

I nudge him with my shoulder.

"Let's just forget about them. Where do you need to go first?"

"Why don't you choose? I only need one more thing for Gerry. Everyone else is taken care of."

I nod looking around the outdoor pavilion.

"How about Michael Kors?" I offer up. "Jordan has been eyeballing this purse but she won't buy it for herself because Elliott would kill her for buying a $3,000 purse."

"So, you're being a good sister and getting it for her?" He raises his eyebrows at me.

I smirk in return.

"They're having a fifty percent off sale today. I checked in the car."

He laughs at that but ushers me to the store, with his hand on the small of my back, anyway. As soon as we enter I see the purse and beeline for it, leaving Fitz at the entrance. That was my first mistake. The purse is so high up that I find myself jumping for it and looking around, I can't find a sales associate that isn't busy. As I reach to jump for it one more time, Fitz' body presses against mine from behind and he easily grabs the bag from it space and hands it to me with a grin on his face.

"What if you were with Edison? He wouldn't have been able to reach that." He inquires sarcastically. "Do you guys shop at midget stores?"

I ignore him and walk straight to the register without acknowledging him and surprisingly he's quiet until we leave the store.

"Are you mad at me?" He asks quietly. "It was just a joke, Liv."

We stop and turn to look at each other.

"I know…I just…I don't want to talk about Edison when I'm with you. So, can we just not?" I'm not really asking but begging him not to bring up my fiancé.

He nods and then points to a jewelry store in front of us.

"You think you might find something in here?"

I smile at his attempt to drop the conversation.

"Eh…why not." I approve and begin walking in that direction.

When we get there, a jewelry case full of lockets immediately catches both of our attention. He ends up getting one for Karen because he insisted that even though the gift was from me, I shouldn't be spending that type of money on his children. I know that it's just because he wants his name on the gift as well so I let it slide. As he's swiping his card I see his eyes wander over to a watch which he continues to stare at while the transaction is being made.

"Like it much?" I joke as his eyes immediately focus back in front of him. "Excuse me, can he see that watch?"

The woman behind the counter takes it out and I can tell that he's in love with it by the way his breath catches as soon as it touches the glass. Instantly my phone is out of my purse and I'm texting Riley.

_Tell Gerry to call Fitz ASAP. I need a distraction while I get his gift._

Fitz' phone is ringing in less than ten seconds. Have I mentioned how much I love those boys? Fitz answers with his eyes lingering on the jewelry and barely says hello before his face looks irate and he excuses himself to finish the call. I didn't want Gerry to get himself in trouble but whatever he said accomplished exactly what I needed.

"Can I buy that watch? Quickly before he comes back in." I ask the woman in a low voice but before she can began ringing it up I stop her. "Does that come with engraving?"

She checks a paper on the register and I'm starting to get nervous that he'll come back in.

"It does actually, up to fifty characters. It's an extra twenty dollars." She answers and hands me a form to fill out.

I'm right at forty-five characters but I smile thinking about how much he'll enjoy unwrapping this. As soon as she confirms my order and I sign for the transaction, Fitz joins me at the register.

"What did you end up getting?" He questions in a slightly irritated tone.

"Oh, um, a locket for my mom. I figured she might like that."

He nods without commenting but begins to stroke my arm. Whatever Gerry said in that call has him fired up but I'm eternally grateful for it.

"Alright, Ms. Pope, it'll be ready for you to pick in about an hour."

I nod appreciatively and grab Fitz' hand to exit the shop.

"Why do you have to wait an hour? We got Karen's right then."

"Engraving." I answer shortly. "What was that phone call about?"

He huffs before answering.

"He wants me to give him my card because he wants a new wardrobe for Christmas. He said and I quote 'c'mon dad, it could be my own Christmas gift to myself'." He uses his middle finger and his thumb to rub his eyes before pinching the bridge of his nose. "Livi, don't ever have kids, okay."

I laugh at him and grab his hand, intertwining our fingers.

"You wanted four kids, remember?" He shakes his head at me. "'As soon as we get married you're going to be knocked up until the end of my presidency. It'll be you, me, and our six kids in Vermont.' That jog your memory a little bit."

He groans at the conversation that I'm referencing.

"What the hell was I thinking?" He asks himself, shaking his head. "You know what, Gerry and Karen weren't teenagers yet. They were still good. You and me, though? We could have handled six kids. You're militant with everything that Ger and Karen need. Even now, they wait until they get your gifts for birthdays and Christmas' because they now it'll be their favorite. You don't forget anything. That's good mom material."

"A minute ago you were telling me that I didn't need any children."

"Not if they're not mine." He jokes but the importance of what he's said isn't lost upon either of us.

We're silent as we stand on the sidewalk, our fingers still intertwined. He begins to run his fingers over my ring.

"I didn't mean that." He apologizes softly.

I chuckle lightly, looking up into his eyes.

"Yes you did. It's okay we just got caught up."

He nods slowly.

"Yeah…caught up." He repeats under his breath. "Let's swing by that game stop place before we head back to the jewelry store."

I nod and follow his lead as he begins to walk, resting my head on his arm with my left hand joined with his right, tucked firmly in his pocket. I wasn't expecting this trip to go so well. I'm falling in love with California.

* * *

**I realized that I usually have most of a chapter typed but I can never figure out the beginning/end so instead of making you guys wait forever for a new chapter, people that review and include the word 'preview' will get a snippit of the new chapter in their inbox (clearly you have to have an account for this to work but if you have a tumblr or prefer email I might be able to accommodate you). With that said, I don't know when they'll be sent out because my debate schedule is craaazy but it will definitely be before the chapter is done so that you guys don't have to wait so long :-)**

**Go review!**


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